It Depends On How You Look At Things

I somehow got a rash
And I didn't spend no cash.
I got the rash for free
And now it's part of me.

I woke with it one morn
And that's when it was born.
A flaky little bubble
That soon grew into trouble.

It started on my chest
And then it did it's best
To grow and even more-so,
To cover up my torso.

It spread out to my limbs,
My thighs and knees and shins.
The rash grwe everywhere
(It even grew 'down there').

And sure as pigs are flabby
All my skin grew scabby;
An epidermal fuss
Of rashy, ooze-y pus.

It now looks like I'm meltin'
And ointments just ain't helpin'.
Outside I won't be gettin'
'Cause I'm all stuck to my bedding.

It's looking very dire
And I know I will expire.
But I'm happy with the fact
At least my lips aren't chapped.

The Tragic Tale of Tiny Lil and Wrinkled Dan

Tiny Lil and Wrinkled Dan
Were such a happy pair.
They lived outside of Boston
In a town not far from there.

Lil was nick-named "Tiny"
'Cause she weren't large in height.
Lil stood just two inches high
Which ain't that big, all right?

Wrinkled Dan was aptly named
'Cause he had yards of skin,
All deeply filled with fleshy folds
On neck and legs and chin.

Now one day after working late
Down at the Waffle House,
Wrinkled Dan came home to meet
Tiny Lil his spouse.

They kissed and hugged and danced a jig
And then they ate a meal
Of waffles Dan brought home from work
Along with corn and veal.

Then the couple went to bed
All comfy, warm and covered.
But tragedy would soon set in
As Wrinkled Dan discovered.

When Dan awoke he was alone;
No Tiny Lil in sight.
It seemed that Lil had vanished
In the middle of the night.

Wrinkled Dan looked high and low,
He even looked around.
But everywhere that Dan did look
Lil could not be found.

And just when Dan had given up
He realized something gruesome.
The reason that both he and Lil
Would never be a two-some.

Sometime in teh dark of night
When all was hushed and still,
A restless, sleeping, Wrinkled Dan
Had rolled on top of Lil.

The fleshy folds on Wrinkled Dan
Were half of Lil's demise.
The other part, of course was her
So very tiny size.

The cause of death left Wrinkled Dan
Far from jubilation.
Encased in wrinkles, Tiny Lil,
Died of suffocation.