Farmer Ted

Farmer Ted wore bacon pants
That everybody sniffed.
The smell made all the barnyard grin.
Except the pigs were miffed.

The Story of Punch and Judy

Punch and Judy were a pair.
Both were short with purple hair.
Both preferred their steaks done rare.
They were the perfect couple.

Punch's name was quite the fit
From a habit that hurt a bit.
He'd always swing and punch and hit.
Judy was just called Judy.

One day Punch got very mad
And he did something awf'ly bad.
Punch hit Judy. What a cad!
But that is not the ending.

Judy dialed 9-1-1.
Then she went and got a gun.
And then while Punch had turned to run
She shot him in the heinie.

Punch got busted. Punch got burned.
But there was knowledge that was learned.
For Punch, the lesson that he learned?
Never hit a girl.

Little Nell liked hugging trees
And moved out West to practice.
On her first day she passed away
Because she hugged a cactus.

Names For Things

Open up some clams or corn
And then you are a shucker".
Pull the feathers from a hen
And you're a "chicken plucker".

Two male twins that drive big rigs
Are known as "brother truckers".
And people who aren't nice to you
Are known as mean spirited folks who must belittle others in order to make themselves feel superior.

Donny's Life

Donny lived a shady life;
A checkered past at best.
But best to live a checkered life
Then live a life that's chess-ed.