Dancing Debbie

Dainty dancing Debbie Moore
Nailed her foot to the kitchen floor.
Her leaps and bounds were uneventful.
But her pirouettes were monumental!

Early Morning Song Birds

You wake up in the morning
And the sun is bright and shining.
The morning dew a-glistens
And the early birds are dining.
The birdies have their breakfast
And then the birds start chirping.
But all the songs those birdies sing
Is just those birdies burping.

Little Nell

Little Nell fed ‘gators
In a pen out on her lawn.
She’d be here if she hadn’t had
Her lamb chop ear rings on.

Snakes

They only use one lip balm tin
Because their lips are very thin.

The Poem That Never Really Worked, About The Cat On My Porch

There was a tan cat that sat on my porch.
It lay in the sun all day long.
I scared it one day and it ran in the street
And got hit by a moving truck that was full of furniture that belonged to that new family across the street, y’know? The Johnsons? Yeah, them. Nice people.

Mr. Craigs Fables: The Hungry Little Slug

Yesterday at 2:00 PM, give or take a week.......

A chubby, little slug crawled under a fence and into a great big garden.
He was feeling a bit hungry as he slowly inched among the rows of vegetables looking for a meal.
"Golly," thought the chubby, little slug. "I sure am hungry. What would taste super-good right now would be some squash."
As the chubby, little slug slowly inched down the row of vegetables and turned to inch up the next row, his little slug eyes almost popped off their stalks with amazement.
There in front of him was a whole row of squash.
"Oh happy day!" cried the chubby, little slug. "Look at all these squash! I will never be hungry again! And they're mine!...ALL MINE!!"
And the chubby, little slug started eating the squash.
munch, munch munch!
munch, munch munch!
munch, munch munch!
Gulp!
It didn't take very long until the chubby little slug had eaten enough squash and he was very, very full.
"I am very, very full," he said through a mouthful of chewed squash. "But I can't crawl away because someone may come by and take all my beautiful squash away from me!"
So he started eating again.
And he ate.
And he ate.
And he ate.
The chubby, little slug ate so much squash the he puffed up to four times his normal size.
"Ooooh my gracious," groaned the chubby, little slug. "I can't eat any more squash! But I can't just crawl away! Someone may come by and take all my beautiful squash away from me!"
So he started eating yet again.
And he ate.
And he ate.
And he ate.
Then suddenly, the chubby, little slug stopped eating.
His little, slug eyes bulged on the ends of their stalks.
His little slug mouth opened and trembled as tiny bits of squash dropped from his little slug lips.
And with a loud and wet-sounding "POP!", the chubby, little slug exploded and showered the vegetable garden with partially digested squash and lots and lots of slug innards.