What If....

What if you had a flip-top head
With a hinge at the back of your neck?
You would need a latch just under your chin
To keep your head-flopping in check.

But other than that it would be really nice
When drinking a cold, ice cream float.
Just flip back your head, grab onto the glass
And pour the drink straight down your throat.

Epitaphs X

Here in the earth is Juanita DeFudds
Who passed when she fell in a pile of spuds.
She would have survived and not lay lengthwise
If she weren’t peeled and sliced and served as french fries.

Little Nell read paperbacks
Then licked the books she read.
One million tiny paper cuts
Is the reason Nellie’s dead.