The Fate Of A Duo Of Deer OR A Long Way To Go For A Pun

Two reindeer you might recognize-
A Rudolph and a Cupid-
Decided being nice was dumb
And started acting stupid.

They both said, "We will do some crimes!"
And set about their plan
To rob the world of rich desserts;
Namely cakes and flan.

They saw themselves as pirates
So with 12-inch kitchen matches,
They each poked out one of their eyes
And sported nifty patches.

They walked the streets and yelled their plans,
These antler-ed buccaneers.
And everyone who heard their yells said,
"Those are bad eye deers."

The Forseen Yet Ignored Death Of The Milk Carton Lady

The Milk Carton lady
Was surprised to meet her fate.
She should've simply read
Her expiration date.

Little Nell, she played the harp.
“I’m good,” is what she said.
She lost her footing, fell and now
Resembles sliced up bread.