Sunday, January 10, 2010

Mr. Craig's Fables: The Little-est Hiccup

Four score and twenty years ago, last Thursday around dinner time......................


.....there lived a very tiny hiccup.

He lived very comfortably inside a woman named Susan who was a bank teller from Boise, Idaho.
For most of the time that the little hiccup lived in Susan, he hung around inside her belly-area waiting to do his job which was to jump around and sing his hiccup songs.
He would sit back and rest for most of the time until the moment was right.
Then the little hiccup would hop around Susan's belly and sing his hiccup songs.
"Hiccup!"
"Hiccup, hiccup!"
"Hic......hiccup!"
The little hiccup was very good at and very happy with his job but he longed for more.
"I want more," he said one day.
"Some day I will grow up to be big and strong. I will be the biggest strongest hiccup that there ever was."
So the little hiccup started working out.
He did jumping jacks.
He did deep knee bends.
He swam laps in the pool.
And after some time of working out and getting larger the little hiccup was very large and powerful.
"Gosh!," said the little hiccup. "I wish there were a mirror around. I want to know what I look like."
All of a sudden it was time to dance and the little hiccup had to do his job.
"Oh boy!" the little hiccup cried with glee.
"Now I get to do my job even better because I'm so big and strong!"
So the little hiccup started dancing and jumping around and singing his hiccup songs.
But something sounded different.
The songs were not the same as they were when the little hiccup was smaller.
"Hurp!" said the little hiccup.
"H-huh-huh-hu-u-u-u-u-u-urp!"
"Guh-huh-h-huh, hu-u-u-u-u-u-u-urp!"
"What is that noise?!?", cried the little hiccup.
"What's going on?!?"
As the little hiccup continued to jump around and sing his new-sounding songs, wondering what was going on, all of a sudden there was a flood of hot and sticky wetness behind him and the little hiccup felt himself traveling straight up off his feet and at a great rate of speed.
And Susan, the bank teller from Boise, Idaho threw up all over the counter at her job.

2 comments:

GretchenWerda said...

I love you. It's cool to know that my hiccup left an impression. Mwah: ) - I guess you chose the vomit. Nice.

that guy said...

Always choose vomit.
hee, hee, hee.