Steven and his Deadly Cheeks

Steven had some chubby cheeks,
Right below his eyes.
Round and pink and pliable
And of tremendous size.

Steven went out for a walk
And drew his final breath.
A strong wind flapped those cheeks about
And beat poor Steve to death.

Bacon Fat

I ate a bowl of pork-y grease,
A fact that I ain't fakin'.
And now when I go exercise
My sweat smells just like bacon.

 

Little Nell ate road kill
And then ran out of luck.
Her diet didn’t do her in.
She got hit by a truck.

Little Nell made chicken pie
To try and catch a fella.
Her only flaw? She ate it raw
And died of Salmonella.

Little Nell made hamburger
In Grandma’s old meat grinder.
She worked non-stop for 14 days.
Now nobody could find her.

Little Nell bought sharks as pets
And fed them rainbow trout.
But feeding sharks by hand was bad
As Nellie soon found out.

Little Nell wore suet shoes;
A pair of "Wides" not "Narrows".
But she passed on when set upon
By flocks of hungry sparrows.