Little Nell, she played the harp.
“I’m good,” is what she said.
She lost her footing, fell and now
Resembles sliced up bread.

The Unfortunate Demise of Barney The Weightlifter

Barney worked out in the gym.
But not to keep his body slim.
Tremendous size was all for him.
So Barney lifted weights.

He worked his form from head to toe.
But still his growth was much too slow.
So steroids helped his muscles grow.
Barney grew enormous.

Barney's clothes soon didn't fit.
And all his pants and t-shirts split.
But through this Barney didn't quit.
He just kept on lifting.

One day while trying to impress Beth,
Barn breathed his final monstrous breath
He flexed and crushed himself to death.
Barney self-imploded.

The Cannibal Diner

The Cannibal Diner serves up meals
Of muscle, bone and sinew.
On second thought, I'll stop this poem.
It's too gross to continue.

Ginny and Her Mole

Little Ginny had a mole.
She had it on her cheek.
She called the mole a "beauty mark"
And thought herself quite chic.

But Little Ginny had no friends
And caused tremendous hype
Because the mole on Ginny's chin
Was of the rodent type.

What If....

What if you had a flip-top head
With a hinge at the back of your neck?
You would need a latch just under your chin
To keep your head-flopping in check.

But other than that it would be really nice
When drinking a cold, ice cream float.
Just flip back your head, grab onto the glass
And pour the drink straight down your throat.

Epitaphs X

Here in the earth is Juanita DeFudds
Who passed when she fell in a pile of spuds.
She would have survived and not lay lengthwise
If she weren’t peeled and sliced and served as french fries.

Little Nell read paperbacks
Then licked the books she read.
One million tiny paper cuts
Is the reason Nellie’s dead.