Little Nell bought sharks as pets
And fed them rainbow trout.
But feeding sharks by hand was bad
As Nellie soon found out.

Little Nell wore suet shoes;
A pair of "Wides" not "Narrows".
But she passed on when set upon
By flocks of hungry sparrows.

The True Story Of Those Bears And That Girl With The Golden Hair

A family of bears
Found a blonde girl upstairs
Asleep on top one of their beds.

Annoyed with her snore-age
And without breakfast porridge,
They ate up the blonde girl instead.

A Short Term Relationship

Simple Steven Moulder
Was smitten with a boulder.

He loved her and he told her
And yet she grew much colder.

So then he went and rolled her
'Cause she was so much older.