Mr. Craigs Fables: The Other Muffin Man

Thirteen years ago last Tuesday,…………….



Mrs. Glickman opened up her oven door and peeked inside.
“Oh good-y,” she smiled. “They’re done.”
She put on her big, purple oven mitts, reached into the stove and pulled out a pan filled with freshly baked, blueberry muffins.
Smelling the sweet, fruity muffins, Mrs. Glickman placed the hot pan on top of the stove and left the kitchen to give them time to cool.
When she returned 10 minutes later, she noticed that one of the muffins was missing.
“That’s odd,” she said out loud. “I wonder what happened to the muffin.”
“Hah, haa! Wouldn’t you like to know, you big dummy,” said a mocking voice that came from the stove top.
Mrs. Glickman looked down and stood shocked and still when out from behind the tea kettle walked the missing blueberry muffin.
There was a long period of quiet as Mrs. Glickman stared at the little muffin on the stove.
“What are you looking at, Stupid Head,” sneered the muffin.
Mrs. Glickman couldn’t believe she was staring at a walking, talking muffin. Or at how impolite the muffin was.
“What?” shouted the muffin. “You’ve never seen a blueberry muffin before?” The muffin then stuck its tongue out at her.
Mrs. Glickman frowned at the rude, little muffin. She then reached out her hand to pick it up and place it back in the muffin pan with the other muffins who didn’t walk or talk nasty.
“Hey!” screamed the muffin. “Don’t touch me!”
When Mrs. Glickman pulled back her hand, the bad muffin laughed, turned around and wiggled his rear end in her direction.
Then it made “poopie” noises at her.
Mrs. Glickman had had enough of the bad mannered muffin. She reached down and quickly grabbed the muffin as it tried to run back behind the tea kettle.
She then peeled the paper wrapper from around the wriggling, little muffin.
“What are you doing?!?” screamed the muffin. “Why are you taking off my clothes?!?”
With the paper covering removed, Mrs. Glickman then raised the shrieking, little muffin up to her mouth and took a big bite out of it.
As she chewed the mouthful of muffin, the yelling stopped and she got to enjoy the fruity tasting muffin in peace and quiet.
And it was the best tasting muffin she ever ate.